Who am I?

I ask myself, sometimes now..

What is it that i want?

but I never seem to get an answer.

No, it's not one of those questions which YOU ask yourself.

This one is my question.

It is not about my "passion" or "choice of career"

It is not about "life in general"

sometimes it is about what movies I like.

what food do i like?

what do i want to do on the weekend.

not what I have to do...

or what others might want me to do...

It's about me.

I have never asked these before to myself.

I have never tried to understand my natural urges

I feel like water - always fitting perfectly in any container offered.

Relenting, letting go.

Accepting choices made by people or circumstances, as my own; even Approving them.

I guess people say that it's supposed to be good to be that way - like water - No desires, no pain .... whatever.

I don't know me.

But I would love to.

Till yesterday, I used to be surprised about people who live alone.

Even feel depressed for them.

For the first time in 25 years..

I want to know me, perhaps even BE me.

I want to live with me for a while.

I feel like I am asking for a saint's life - isolated in the forest.

Meditating to reveal the wealth of secrets within.